I remember about ten years ago, I was talking to a guy, just a friend, about dating, and ending relationships, how difficult it is to end a relationship that you know is not going to work out. Breaking hearts is awful. No matter how gently you do it, someone gets hurt.
I told him I just don't date, by choice.
And he asked why.
My response was simple.
"I just haven't found someone who deserves me"
I'm a catch. I know I am.
I'm a really good person. I have values, integrity, Self love, Self-respect
And I've done a lot of work on my past and history.
Not to say there's not some stuff that will come up because if you've lived more than twenty years, you've got "baggage".
It's what you do with that baggage. Do you heap it on to someone else, Or do you keep it in your own space and deal with it as situations arise?
The thing about relationships- both people have to be willing to put in effort to keep it healthy, by communicating, nurturing the connection and listening.
I mean, the point of a relationship is to become a better version of yourself within the relationship. Growing together.
Two people joining together to become a more powerful union.
Autonomy and interdependence are fundamentally necessary in relationship.
So, until a man comes along who has been doing the work, introspection, self reflection and is in for the long haul, I'm perfectly content staying single.
I've worked too long and hard on my "stuff" to give "just anyone" my time.
I'm not perfect, I have plenty to work on, much of which is meant to be healed in the context of a relationship.
We can heal parts of ourselves within relationship, some parts can only be healed that way. We come together with someone who has the qualities we don't possess. Thats what makes it work. We're attracted to that, and if we're ready to be vulnerable-we're all in.
Often I find that men don't stick around if they have work to do. They don't want to
face the truth.
It makes people uncomfortable to be faced with honesty, and authenticity. People squirm. Hide. Go Hot/cold. Or Push/pull.
Until then, I'll continue to be my happy self and know all is working out as it should.
I'm patient.
Love, me❤️💙
Vera
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